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Abnormal

by Tania Alexandra

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1.
feeling just a little lost today hoping that i soon will find my way everybody's asking how... and i don't have clear answers feeling just a little bit confused hoping that i'll soon know what to do decisions beckoning... and choosing is overwhelming me i live in these words i live in these thoughts i live in them and they are not my identity i live in the throngs of my right and wrongs representing a little have not a little have not walking down the streets of philly-o, bumping into all these peeps i know seeing a familiar face it helps me to feel comfortable, secure turn another corner and i see a shift in my reality conversations lose their sense and emptiness feels nourishing i live in these words i live in these thoughts i live in them and they are not my identity i live in the throngs of my right and wrongs representing… as we shed our skin the skin we shed is in the past the past is dead yet it still remains a part of who we are and what were here to be so i'm stepping off the cadence of this drone finding that is what makes us alone crazy people speak to me and i don't think they're crazy anymore i'm dancing with a lion in my soul falling into those which make me whole i am the sum of all my actions and that is all i own i live in these words i live in these thoughts i live in them and they are not my identity i live in the throngs of my right and wrongs representing a little have not. a little have not
2.
Holding hands should not be reserved For only lovers and children Rules like that are only preserved By those afraid of taking a chance to feel And i choose to be vulnerable Raw and open to love diving in like a drop to the see Emerging me in the soul of all Precious cargo on the school bus Everyone’s watching and careful At what age does all of that end? When does that preciousness cease to be? No. I will choose to be honorable Unattached to the mold Ageless wisdom and innocence Surrounding me in the soul of Timeless and priceless these moments we lead Delicate, strong balance effort and ease There is nothing to prove and there’s no one to please All we need is love I reserve the right to express Any which way that I’m called to Even if I’m not in the trend I won’t pretend to be anything but me And I choose to be bountiful Burn like sun flow like sea Blooming wide like a flower to the sky Enticing me try the soul of all Holding hands should not be reserved For only lovers and children.
3.
consistently inconsistent imperfect perfectionist wandering around this space that’s been perceived and defined as time… has a way of being what it is without knowing how she’s convinced herself of controlling it just moves on and on and on and on and on… so the artist inside outs her heart and soul and hangs it on a wall for all the world to see she’s living chances, open, bleeding, pumping, breathing, feeling and a circumstance is vulnerability to criticize is easy when one sees the other raw like that he catches flaws but that’s okay she does it anyway she has no choice it’s all she knows and so she grows and so does Love… has a way of being what it is without knowing how she’s convinced herself of controlling it just moves on and on and on and on and on… through the deepest rage in silent moments through the upsurd days when all is normal and so she tries to find her sense in this crazy world consistently inconsistent
4.
Parasite 03:25
Parasite, parasite. Feeding off the energy of another Doing what he will So he’ll survive Feeding off the body that’s giving him life Parasite. Now if you follow through this definition It doesn’t take a brilliant man to see That how we go about our own survival Makes parasites of you and out of me So pick your distraction Could be drugs or sleep or sugar Maybe it’s sensual, or tickles intellect Possibly fixing all the others who seem crazy Or maybe its indifference It doesn’t change that we are parasites Parasite Now I’m not making any kind of judgment Not saying if it’s good or if it’s wrong Cause some parasites can help their hosts to live While other ones will eat their hosts alive Symbiotic Embryonic Choose your adventure Could be living in the moment Maybe its finding fame, or monetary gain Possibly searching joy, or spiritual improvement And it doesn’t change anything We’re still all living here as parasites Pointing fingers… Who’s to blame? As we eat our world away. Words and policies extend. Talking, talking to the end. Where is the follow through? From the words that tend to linger? Who has the stamina to stand by their intent? It’s highly implausible it will be the politicians It’s got to start from within To become symbiotic parasites Parasite, parasite.
5.
I’m still here. I’m a weed. And you can pull me from my roots You can throw me out With your boots, you can stomp me You may not want me but that’s your perception I am a weed, I will survive I’ve got purpose i am alive i’ve got my seeds i’ve got the ground And I’ve got the wind I’m still here. I’m a weed. And I’ve been ripped up, tossed aside, I’ve been picked at, but I won’t abide You try to control me You think you know me But that’s your perception I am a weed, I will survive ‘cause I’ve got passion I am alive I’ve got my seeds I’ve got the ground And I’ve got the wind Been making love to the breath of the air My ‘Ness is scattering everywhere Beautiful pieces spread and recognized by the wise eyes of a child Not yet hypnotized by lies I am a weed, I will survive I’ve got passion I am alive I’ve got my seeds I’ve got the ground and I’ve got the wind I’m still here.
6.
beautiful malfunction dear pebble in the clam my inspiration lies in witnessing the evidence that you’re not what you seem.. beautiful malfunction dear mutilated plan my gratitude lies in the process of your evolution you are why I am… it doesn’t really matter how twisted it seems there’s always something wonderful in asymmetric things deranged and a skewed, used, twisted, and gnarled only bares a wisdom that no one else can borrow i vow to honor sweet malfunction beautiful malfunction dear nova in the sky i wonder if within the blemish of your transformation you feel awkward like me… it doesn’t really matter how twisted it seems there’s always something wonderful in asymmetric things i vow to honor sweet malfunction
7.
i’m not worried anymore checked my troubles by the door there’s nothing here to fear in this physical plane my lover’s left me far behind wants to erase me from his mind says even memories that are good will only bring him pain these are the blues that I’ve sown… but this soul of mine has love to give and this heart of mine still has joy to live and no one can take that away… not even these blues i’m not worried anymore checked my troubles by the door there’s nothing here to fear in this physical plane all my treasures have been stolen don’t know where or when I’m going but there’s nothing left here for me to stay for these are the blues that I’ve sown… but this soul of mine has love to give and this heart of mine still has joy to live and no one can take that away… no nothing can take that away… not even these blues when there’s nothing left to loose there’s possibility and this soul of mine has love to give and this heart of mine still has joy to live and no one can take that away… no nothing can take that away… i said no one will take that away not even these blues…
8.
Windows of the soul Are mirrors at a glance Reflecting our own images Realized given chance Look closely Do you like what you see? Do you recognize the you in me? There’s light in there… Is it mine or is it yours? Deep within these thoughts Are someone else’s vibes Unconsciously absorbed by me And spoken in disguise Dig deeper Do you trust what you hear? Did it come from sense? Or did it just appear? There’s more to this Than from mouth to ear Don’t get caught in what this isn’t Hidden in the words Of everything we read Lies it’s own agenda From which all of us feed Take chances Look behind every source Did you welcome them? Or did they sneak by force? There’s more to this Than just meets the eye. Don’t get caught in what this isn’t
9.
me and rhodi night we walk together down the city street and she smells bacon at the wrap shack and she tells me that smells good to eat but I wouldn’t know ‘cause I’m a vegetarian but I let her have some anyway its ruff being a vegan’s best friend me and rhodi night she wakes me up she tells me its time to go outside and have some fun she’s my delight unconditional love she reminds me to take a break and play out in the sun that’s my rhodi night me and rhodi night we walk together down the city street and she meets abbey, go-go, blue, and gus and she smells all of their little butts like humans shaking hands just a way of saying “hey, its nice to meet you. do you want to play? okay!” me and rhodi night she wakes me up she tells me its time to be yourself and have some fun she’s my delight unconditional love she reminds me to take a break and play out in the sun lets chase some pigeons, bark at squirrels, lick all the faces of the boys and girls lets play some games, how bout some fetch? you throw the ball to me, and i won’t catch that’s my rhodi night she wakes me up she tells me its time to be yourself and have some fun she’s my delight unconditional love she reminds me to take a break and play out in the sun that’s my rhodi night
10.
The cat and lioness don’t speak But they know the others there Even though they’re unaware The other knows And no distance, time, or greater space No anger, shame, or grave mistake Can ever truly separate True love between two souls In other words… I love you.

about

Tania Alexandra woke up one morning to see a piano taking up most of her bedroom. She was nine, and that piano became her diary.

Immersed in the performing arts and her father’s eclectic tastes, she counts The Muppets, Igor Stravinsky, John Coltrane, Tom Waits, Laurie Anderson and Joni Mitchell among her earliest influences. Born and raised amid the beauty of the Colorado mountains, she honed her songwriting in secret while studying music education at Ithaca College, only revealing herself after moving to Philadelphia.

After recording her debut album Chrysalis, Tania infused herself into the arts community as a singer-songwriter, music and movement teacher, session vocalist and vocal arranger. Her resulting album, Emergence, captured her represented both a milestone in her songcraft and a culmination of her experiences as an artist in Philadelphia. The huge sounds featured a wide array of musicians from drummers and percussionists, to trombonists and flutists, to cellists and string quartets, to lap steel and guitar slingers.

Her latest release, Abnormal (NCM East Records), finds Tania performing with a stripped down quartet featuring Eric Hastings on drums, Geoff Hazelrigg on bass, and George Hazelrigg on organ. Tania’s powerful voice and inventive piano playing shine through in this format as her songwriting takes center stage.

Propelled to spread creative energy like a colorful weed, Tania Alexandra muses her listeners. Her passionate voice weaves through piano driven primal grooves creating a collage filled with poetic lyrics and engaging melodies. Tania's songs are edgy, evocative, and subtly complex. Some haunting, some playful, some reflective, some bold - her music explores her journey into the connections and emotions in life through generations and over time between people, nature, and love.

credits

released November 10, 2009

Tania Alexandra: Piano and Vocal
Eric Hastings: Drums
Geoff Hazelrigg: Bass
George Hazelrigg: Organ

Produced by Geoff Hazelrigg and Tania Alexandra
Recorded and Mixed by Geoff Hazelrigg
www.hazelriggbrothers.com - www.collectiveacoustics.com
Additional recording by Dave Schonauer @ Morning Star Studios - www.morningstarstudios.com

All songs written by Tania Alexandra, Tumbletat Publisihing/SESAC
www.taniaalexandra.com
www.ncmeast.com

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Tania Alexandra

Described as quirky and kind, Tania Alexandra’s music captures her love of the authentic oddities of life and the spirit that lies within them. An award winning songwriter, recording artist, music and movement specialist, session vocalist, and arranger, Tania (Gitali) is taking her music to new depths, combining her practice of mantra and Bhakti Yoga with her zeal for songwriting and performance. ... more

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